some days we're back at square one with ourselves. at a door holding some invitation that says you're invited, like you've been invited to your own existence. my favorite thoughts regard being, yours and mine alike. it's the core of our existence and holds entirety. who we are and all we are. the concept is elemental grandeur. that's the beautiful thing about being at square one, step one. you create a prerogative for yourself, your own sovereign government that won't collapse on you. assimilation is killing you. instead of incorporating everyone's everything into your life, incorporate everything into your life: god.
take me back to square one, i'll be a younger version of me every single time; souls never age, people. find your soul and you'll experience your childness you'd rather cross off in your profession. square one, step one, don't be so threatened. rather, be humbled in your place. we're not being pushed back and pushed down from our stand up position that took adroit maneuvers and measures to cover such ground. we're simply transitioning on an invitational basis into existence. appreciate the groundwork and know you exist because as silly as this sounds, we we often forget our existence.
even though we touch, see, smell, hear and taste, we are obliviated. we have been charmed, like some harry potter spell has been put over us to forget. you would think. i'm being serious though. agree or disagree; voice it. the majority of the time, i beg to cross you and step on your toes. (perhaps that's repugnant, but you'd, one, hear your voice and two, learn what you live by.) we're charmed by everything around us: idealism, materialism, even sexism. i'd include words like "foodism" and "technologism" too, but webster tells me there is no such thing while i say there is.
anything that will describe to us who we are while complimenting our ego's idea of self, and anything that tends to our shortcomings and superficial successes, has us charmed. and. whatever has us charmed has become our idol. we're obliviated when we refuse our square ones. practically living life in someone else's body, experiencing someone else's everything for the sake of oblivion plus a promising dream.
for the amount of time it will take you to read this next setence, let's be our most vulnerable: (insert your name here) now in oblivion, the state of being completely forgotten or unknown to yourself. don't comply or everything will become boss of you.
fact: you all need a soulmate. i have this friend who is absolutely brilliant. his name is alec. alec means "defending men". thinking of him as more than a friend quite honestly grosses me out, so when you hear me use "soulmate," hold your princess-fairytale definition, please and thank you.
inititally when alec and i first said hey let's be friends (not really), i befriended myself. of course, every conversation implied i'm right and you're wrong. both sides. honestly i never thought we would budge, like, have a conversation, not a continual argument. we learned our own voice though, the very things that would drive us and put a fire in us. crossing lines, being offensive and insensitive to the flaws we seen in each other was much obliged, i swear our purpose in each others lives.
certainly we were both extremes of each other at first, but i think we were so combative because we have never heard ourselves so loud and clear. we liked it and didn't want to shut up and listen. like, ever. things have changed now, duh. we discuss strange philosophies and remind each other of who we are if ever one of us is in a state of oblivion.
i'm telling you, everyone needs an alec or an alyssa in their lives, that person that will happily offend you with the intention of challenging you to build you. they see your potential and are persistent on you meeting it. they don't fear the square one that seems to be the death of you, they commend it. know your soulmate; gender does not matter, so unlearn its definition. i could be your soulmate for all you know.
"people think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. but a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.
a true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. but to live with a soul mate forever? nah. too painful. soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.
a soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master...” elizabeth gilbert couldn't have said it more perfectly.
be okay with square one, dearest reader. you're invited to your own celebration there. understand, you exist.
five things i need to do:
1. buy veggies
2. run the hoodle bug
3. call mom
4. ab'oclock at 10o'clock
5. juice
sleep well tonight.
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