lemons and limes.

i'm waiting on my coffee.  i finally went out and bought myself a small, fits-me-perfect kind of coffee pot.  my days have flip flopped themselves; they are my nights now, and my nights my days.  i love it.  i'm okay with it.  i love my own company.  i clean, eat, and journal.  and i've started wanting to be more.. more thoughtful, if you will.  send out cards to people, pay people more mind, yet still mind my own.  i've also started shopping in the fresh produce aisle, picking up lemons and limes, cucumbers and grapefruits for my water.  please, if you don't, take better care of yourself and love your own company.  you will be happier and will contribute more to this society. 

i found new facemasks to try!  i'm thinking about egg whites and honey.  probably going to try it this afternoon before i go to bed?  so excited.  i also decided tonight i would have coffee in my polka dotted mug.  it takes me back to late nights at mema's, journaling and jotting down my own opinions and thinkings on things.  i never thought i'd be where i am.  in the military.  and in north dakota, the coldest, most indecisive fickle place, i swear.  which, how ironic.  i would avoid at all cost those military booths set up in malls back home, and every time i passed one i told myself i would never join.  i'm amused.  truly.  in all honesty though, i don't mind being in the military, nor do i mind north dakota.  i've grown up.  i do mind my job description though.  i am a cop.  this sounds contradictory to my third to last sentence, but i would rather be a civilian, choose my own silverware and dishes, have a few jobs (i like a lot on my plate) at once, and take care of things, pursue things.  anymore i don't feel i have enough hours in my day for all the books i want to read, the things i want to do and see.  

lately i've been thinking adventurously and the god aspect of it, in the "impossible implication" kind of sense.  i believe i'm going to go somewhere beautiful.  or maybe i'm going to stay and see beautiful.  regardless, i have no doubts in my mind the movement of god is compelling me and being my energy to run and not walk towards all that i desire.  achievement is already my victory.  many things i want, but i don't yet have.  

i started counting my macros yesterday, rather than doing estimations in my head and not writing meals down.  it's amazing already how pure my body feels and how much more in order i feel.  i'd share my goals and what it is i'm after, but i'd rather not.  training has been brutal.  i'm concentrated and focused.  our bodies are temples, and i have a king living in mine.  divine greatness.  so not only is training brutal, it is worship too.  

it's about 0430 in the morning, and wild horses cannot keep me from the things i want:  productivity.  

gym time (: